Act Natural

an advertisement for the new iPhone 35

Welcome to the future:
you'll no longer speak
with your tongue
and your epiglottis
regenerates with SHA-256 encryption.

The new iPhone 35bs is here.

Buy one. Act natural.

The rectilinear laser unlock feature
protects you from gender theft
and meat misrepresentation.

The flashbulb can stun
randy enforcement officials
if you need a night off
from cavity searches.

Buy one. Act natural.

The die-Phone 35bs's whisper dream feature
will alert your partner when you're aroused
and ready for a carbon neutral orgasm.

The dry-Phone 35bs can scrub your colon
and ultrasound your uterus
to monitor your birth control levels and semen score.

Buy one. Act natural.

The cry-Phone 35bs,
encased in locally farmed foreskin,
can turn cream on the edge
into biological milk.

The bye-phone 35bs can scale up
your cholesterol by two points
and pay traffic tickets
before you earn them.

Buy one. Act natural.

The buy-Phone 35bs series
verifies rectospiritual activities
through crypto-teledildonics.

This why-phone 35bs
will deepfake a tree,
you greenslut.

Buy one.

Act.
       Natural.